A Little Distraction
by SirPrickles
Summary: Alonzo muses on the idea of fatherhood, and ends up kitten-sitting an unruly furball. Oneshot.


Birds twittered happily. Alonzo yawned despite himself. He was perched on the edge of an old radiator at the southern end of the Jellicle junkyard. A trash dump was scheduled sometime this week and he was waiting for it.

It was Munkustrap's idea, naturally. The Jellicle Protector thought it was in everyone's best interest to know when new junk arrived. Usually, everyone hid or scattered off to their owners when the screech of metal crashing against metal rang through the junkyard.

Alonzo's ear twitched. He had been keeping watch on the wrought-iron fence for two days straight. To be fair, Munkustrap was still working out the dump-trucks' schedule.

The junk might come today. It might not.

But, then again, it might.

So Alonzo was staying put. Since there hadn't been any Macavity scares in several months, everyone had relaxed, and watching for dump-trucks was now Jellicle Protector Priority #1.

Alonzo's gaze drifted. He trusted his ears to inform him of any human activity. His gaze settled irresistibly on a yellow spot of color: a daisy peeking out of the rubble, about ten yards away. It was fresh, new to this morning, with a dark fuzzy center that reminded him of Cassandra's silky short fur.

Perhaps he should pick it for her. She would like that.

He detected a noise somewhere to his left. He turned sharply.

A small fuzzy red-and-black ball was tottering on the edge of an old tire. It was mewling happily.

_Whose kitten?_ Alonzo wondered. It was much too young to be alone out here. Maybe a month old. Munk and Demeter had just had kittens…

Right on cue, the Rum Tum Tugger appeared. He plucked the furball off the tire and nuzzled her nose.

Her purr was too slight to be heard, but Alonzo saw the vibration run through her whole little body. She nestled contentedly in her father's mane.

Tugger looked up and caught Alonzo's eye. Alonzo immediately switched his gaze back to the gates.

He didn't want to see more. He'd rather not be jealous right now.

Munk had told him, "Just wait, Lonz. Soon you and Cass won't get a wink of sleep either." He yawned to emphasize the point and smiled with pride as his young son batted at Demeter's tail. "But it's worth it. Just wait till it happens to you."

No. No it wouldn't. Alonzo took a deep breath.

He and Cassandra would never have kittens. But he hadn't told Munk. That wasn't his secret to tell.

Cassandra told him before they became mates.

"Lonz—"she began, her startling blue eyes suddenly grave, "before we decide anything, there is something you should know."

He had grinned, although her tone of voice suggested it was something very serious, indeed. There was nothing that could faze him. He was in love.

"It wouldn't be fair for you to get into this without knowing." She bit her lip. "I'm spayed. I can't have kittens."

Alonzo laughed outright. "That's it? Not a secret passion for Macavity?"

To tell the truth, he was almost relieved. He'd never been comfortable with kittens. Etcetera and Electra, when they were born, had made him want to claw his own ears off. He took especial pains to be up high, where they couldn't climb.

Cassandra smiled painfully and held off his kiss. "Lonz. I want you to think about it."

"I already have." He pulled her closer.

She yielded with relief. Tears glittered in her eyes.

Before pressing a kiss to those rust-colored lips, Alonzo thought briefly that it was a shame no little queens would have such startling blue eyes.

It was a shame. Alonzo stared fixedly at the iron gate. There was still no sign of activity, human or dump truck. In the silence, he could clearly hear Tugger saying, "Go ahead and chew on it, but you won't like it. Fair warning."

He blocked the sound with more memories. The last Jellicle Ball. Smiling and beckoning Bombalurina, eying Victoria, and dancing with Jemima.

Jemima…

She was an option. Sweet, friendly, easygoing…young and eager. Not graceful or sleek like Cassandra, though.

He'd danced with her that night. And he'd thought that maybe, just maybe, she was an option.

She responded enthusiastically to his touch. Her big bright eyes shone. She couldn't hide her feelings.

He'd spun her around, kept her locked in embrace. Her back arched into him, and her breathing grew heavy.

And he thought, gazing down at her, so tiny, so young, that she could be a new start. A future.

A mother.

Alonzo shivered. After the Jellicle Ball he felt so ashamed for having considered it. Cassandra was hurt. She could barely speak to him, let alone lie next to him in their den. But she looked at him with a painful understanding and he felt the most horrible guilt.

"Cassie," he murmured, knowing exactly what she was thinking, "There's only you for me. I don't care about…" they both knew what he didn't say.

Kittens.

But he did. Now.

Once, it hadn't mattered. The only thing then was that Cassandra was beautiful and exotic and shy and gentle and she loved him too.

Alonzo lifted his chin. It still didn't matter. He loved Cassandra like no other cat, and she was his mate. For life. Kittens or no kittens.

"Alonzo…"

Recognizing the lazy voice as one of his least favorite tomcats, Alonzo sighed.

"Yes? I'm on watch."

"And you look like you're watching so very effectively. I think you could stand a little distraction."

"What?" he twisted around. Tugger dropped the red-and-black kitten in his lap. Up close, she had tiny gold streaks in her fur.

"No!" Alonzo picked her up. She stared at him in fascination. He held her out. "No. Take it back. I'm busy."

Tugger smiled wickedly. "So am I. Keep an eye or an ear or a tail on her while I go 'say hello' to her mother."

Alonzo's mouth dropped open. "Oh no," he stated. "No, you don't!"

"Careful, Lonz. She's a baby." Tugger was striding backwards. "No sudden movements." He gave a last grin and spun around, heading off to the main junkyard, tail swinging behind him.

"Mew?" said the kitten.

Alonzo held her up, wrapping both paws tentatively around her rib cage. She felt like an ounce of warm, fuzzy feathers. Light as a baby bird. "Mew?" she asked again.

"Uh, hi—Kitten. What's your name, again?" He remembered that it started with a "T". Of course.

She started to squirm. He tightened his grip. She squealed in protest, and he hastily put her back down on his lap.

She nuzzled his thigh, and then started to nose around. "Hey!" he put a paw down to stop her.

The kitten latched onto it, digging her tiny claws into his thumb. She licked him.

"Can't you say anything?" Alonzo said. He quickly looked around, but he was still alone at the south end of the junkyard. No help in sight.

"Mew?"

Alonzo frowned. "Obviously not."

The kitten, whom he was just going to call "Furball" until someone told him otherwise, stared up at him. She was blinking in surprise. Clearly she now realized that she didn't recognize him.

"Please don't cry," he grimaced. "Don't cry. I won't eat you."

Furball didn't cry. She kept on staring. _Hmm_, her eyes said, _I don't know you. This is an odd turn of events._ She looked away, then back up at him. _What to do now? _

"Um. How about a nap?" he put her down beside him. He wished strenuously that there was a squishy portion on a radiator.

But she was delighted with this turn of events. Quickly and almost expertly she started prowling about the top of the radiator, with a sniff here and there. There must have been some engine-dust still around, because Furball sneezed with a force that was surprising coming from such a small animal.

Alonzo gingerly picked her back up. "Mew?" she asked curiously. _What now, strange cat? Where are you taking me?_

He held her aloft for a few long seconds, deciding, and then put her down on the ground. Immediately, she set off, crawling away from him.

"No! Furball…" Alonzo slid off the radiator. He walked after the kitten, whose speed, thankfully, was not yet a force to be reckoned with. He shook out his fur in frustration. How did he get roped into kitten-sitting?

And Tugger's kitten, at that? She was sure to be a pawful.

"Dangit, Furball," he said.

She reached her goal: the yellow-and-black flower, still glowing in the sunlight. She batted at the flower-head. It smacked her right back. Undeterred, she pulled the petal over and put it in her mouth.

"No!" Alonzo knelt down and pulled it away. Furball gave him a withering look. _I can chew on flowers if I want to. Don't make me start crying. That will make all of us unhappy_.

Alonzo clenched his teeth. He was imagining that a month-old kitten was sending messages to his brain. It had to stop.

"No, Furball." She tried to grab at it again. Her tiny claw tore a piece off the petal.

"Now look what you've done." He was going to give that to Cassandra.

She ate the piece of petal and coughed several times.

If she choked, Alonzo didn't know what he would do. Scream for the Rum Tum Tugger? That would be the death of him. He would never live down the shame. Of course, the thought of allowing her to choke and making Tugger angry was not a terribly appealing one either. The tall tomcat was known to hold long grudges.

"There, there," he patted her back. "Please. Don't choke."

_Choke?_ She shook out her small body, from the top of her head to the tip of her tail. _As if_.

Alonzo let out a sigh in relief.

Furball picked up her rear end again and set off due west. Alonzo crawled after her, a few paces behind. Definitely close enough to snatch her up if she fell into an unexpected hole.

She didn't fall into a hole, but she did head straight for the dump-truck gate. Upon reaching the huge metal bars, she nosed them with interest.

"Don't bite that!"

But she was faster than he expected. She gummed the bar happily, ingesting as much as she could fit into her little mouth. But the taste wasn't to her liking—she started retching.

Alonzo backed up hastily. Then, thinking better of it, moved forward and knelt by her.

Furball was throwing up. Her little body was shaking. Alonzo scratched the ground in frustration, and inched closer. He did not want to be here. This shouldn't be happening to him. He couldn't even have kittens! What was he supposed to do?

The poor little thing eventually stopped. She sat there, shivering.

Gross. He'd have to clean her off.

Alonzo carefully gripped her by the scruff of her neck. She dangled, blinking unhappily at him.

"Sorry, Furball," he whispered. Cassandra had some spare cloth in their den. But in order to get to their den, he'd have to leave the gate.

Alonzo's mind raced wildly. Munkustrap would never trust him again. Or, at least, he'd be very disappointed. Or mildly perturbed. Perhaps completely understanding?

Furball whimpered.

Alonzo nodded once to himself in agreement. Munk just had kits. He'd understand.

But a new problem arose in Alonzo's mind, as Furball dangled there, damp and shivering. He couldn't exactly carry this dirty, rather smelly kitten through the junkyard. His den happened to be almost a mile away. There had to be a quicker, safer solution.

A solution that didn't possibly have the Rum Tum Tugger or Bombalurina seeing their beloved baby covered in her own vomit.

_What would a parent do?_ he thought desperately. If he wanted to have kittens, and he supposed that he did, then what would he do if this were his kitten?

Alonzo gulped. He looked around, and spotted the yellow daisy, battered but upright. He loped toward it, and dropped Furball gently on the ground next to it.

She, miserable, barely paid attention. She was looking at him reproachfully, as if everything was his fault. All his fault that she was sick, and cold, and sad, and covered in vomit.

Alonzo sighed. He reached down and started cleaning her with his paw, wiping the gunk off her fur. She fussed, but he held her steady.

"Furball, look," Alonzo said, rubbing the stuff off his paw onto an old pillow and reaching in for more, "see the pretty flower? Don't you like the pretty flower?" He kept a stream of conversation, trying to distract her with the calming tone of his voice.

Soon she was clean and presentable. Alonzo backed away, eying her critically to see if he missed any spots. But she was as good as new.

Almost.

The kitten whimpered. She looked around again. She was avoiding Alonzo's eyes. She stared desperately in the direction Tugger had gone.

_Oh no. _

Furball started to sob. She sat up and put her paws over her eyes. Her little body started shaking.

Alonzo acted without thinking. He tucked the kitten into his arms, nestling her in the crook of his elbow. She continued to whimper, but rubbed her face and paws in his side.

"It's alright," he whispered, feeling her speeding little heart. It beat like a tiny human toy with batteries, so fast it was a buzz. She felt warm and a little heavier than before.

Sobs shook her, but she kept her face pressed to his chest. Alonzo walked back over to the radiator and sat in its shade, his back to the cool metal.

He ran a finger through her fur. "It's okay, Kitten. Just calm down."

She hiccupped. Her big green eyes looked hazily at him. After a few rapid blinks, she closed them tightly.

And almost as soon as her lids touched, she was fast asleep.

Alonzo could barely believe his good luck. He'd gotten her to stop crying. And to sleep. He kept his breathing as steady as he could, counting the breaths and trying not to shift the kitten too much.

His arm felt secure. She was much too light to be a burden. Just to be safe he propped his knee under the elbow. Furball remained asleep.

Alonzo let his head roll back against the cool metal. Now that the adrenaline rush was over, he felt exhausted. Kittens were a lot of work. A nuisance. He didn't want to imagine watching one for days, or even months on end. It seemed that kittens weren't for him, after all.

Still…

Furball gave a little snort. Alonzo looked down at her.

Kittens were awfully cute.

He shrugged, and then mentally chastised himself for the movement that could have woken Furball. But the kitten remained asleep.

And Alonzo finally smiled. He leaned back and closed his eyes.

Some time later he heard a quiet step. "Lonz?"

Bombalurina stood over him, smiling at the sight.

"Bomba." The red queen looked good. Almost all the kitten-weight was gone, except for an extra curviness to her hips. She looked very good.

"I'll take Tara back now, if you don't mind."

"Tara!"

"Yes. For Tarantella. Why, what did you think it was?" She looked rather worried.

He shrugged lightly. "I had no idea. I called her Furball."

"Oh!" Bombalurina blinked. "Oh. Understandable."

"Why?" Alonzo felt the warm reassuring weight of the baby kitten still nestled in the crook of his arm. It would feel awfully cold without her.

Bomba rolled her eyes. "They've given her this awful nickname." She leaned in and gently scratched the baby's headfur. Furball didn't stir.

Alonzo held her out reluctantly. Bomba noticed and suppressed a smile. She accepted her daughter and snuggled her into her shoulder.

"I hope she behaved?"

Alonzo replied nonchalantly, "Yeah. Well enough. Good, I mean. Pretty good."

Bomba said eagerly, "Does that mean you might want to watch her again? Just for an evening, or something?"

"Sure." Alonzo jumped back on top of the radiator. He glanced at the wrought-iron gates. Still not a thing in sight. He glanced, irresistibly, back at the furball. Her tiny paw was gripping a tuft of her mother's fur. The little snoozing motion she made was adorable. Cassandra would love to have a kitten around.

"Yeah. Sure. I'll watch her."

It would just be a little distraction.


End file.
